A lonely man in a grave yard
I saw him there .....
a lonely man in a graveyard......
at the grave of his dear wife...
He stood there in silence, bowing his head, communing with her...
what he said I do not know,
I stood afar in respectful silence....
He looked around and identified other graves,
wherein rested the bodies of many of his kins people,
his friends and his little son who died in childhood......
His eyes swept over the grave yard
acknowledging them and breathing a silent prayer....
When I came to his house as the bride of his eldest son,
he was a dynamic, healthy and active lawyer, 61 years old...
never was there a moment of inactivity,
he set the house going with morning prayers in the early hours of the morning (a ritual I never dared to miss!).
His life was like clockwork ( he could give the newfangled Management schools a good lecture on Time Management and Finance Management) , and at the end of the day he drew the curtains on the days activities by bringing the family together for evening prayers.
I was in awe of him, not because I was his daughter-in-law, but because I respected him.
His integrity, honesty, and impartiality earned him a lot of respect, (but wasnt good for his profession!).
He was a perfect gentleman... one who kept his word and one who spoke his mind fearlessly and without favour.
He was brought up in the traditions of the Orthodox Church and he upheld his faith throughout his life, worked tirelessly for the Church, and brought up his children in the same religious, traditions and culture.
I used to love his company, because he was a person who was rich in experience and knowledge, and his anecdotes involved eminent people from the secular world and from the Church,
making his conversation all the more interesting.
I was very fond of him, not as a father-in-law, but as a father.....
He was a perfect family man...
No household chore was beneath him, he would willingly lend a helping hand....
He was encouraging and appreciative of an inexperienced (but sincere) cook like me whenever I fumbled with my culinary efforts!
Down to earth and practical, he was never a person who cribbed or found fault, but would bravely move forward in the business of life.
He was generous and sympathetic,
He had a good word for all and a concern for the children.
Whatever charity he did in silence.
He died as he lived, very practically, without wasting any time...
But he did find time to say goodbye to all his friends, to pray and to make the sign of the cross.
In the graveyard.....
I see him for the last time, laid to rest beside his wife......
in the company of all his kins people and his little son who died early in life.
As I travel back, and zoom past all the familiar landmarks, the grief that I had bottled up in me breached the flood gates...the tears I shed was because I knew that he would never be there at the homestead to welcome us, that this patriarchal figure around whom the family used to rally was now only a memory in the snapshot of time......
My heart has treasured all the moments I shared with him, yet I do not know why, the only picture that comes to mind and stays there is the one of
A lonely man in the graveyard......
Note: This is a tribute to my dear Father-in-law who passed away on 15th September 2007
3 comments:
Susan & Prasad,
Bereavement-- the loss of those dear to us, leaves us with profound and deep feelings. This is very much evident in Susan's notes on the passing of Prasad's dear father and Susan's father-in-law.
Deepest sympathies to you both and to the family from Teresa, our children and myself.
Death is a fact of life and is something that is difficult to reconcile with. Everyone and everything born must die. That is the law of nature. We take consolation through a belief of a life beyond life. In fact each generation passes on the baton to the next, and then to the next and so on. Life's mysteries lead us to faith and belief in an eternal life.
It takes some time for us to get over the grief over the passing away of our dear ones. Then we come to grips with the realities of life. And life goes on and we move on with our ordinary, mundane lives.
Both birth and death are great teachers. They level us off. In death we see the futility of many of our pursuits. The great lesson that both birth and death teach us is that we come with nothing and leave with nothing. This is often forgotten by us in our mad race through life in pursuit of riches, power, authority and the pursuit of the self.
Shakespeare's words ring in one's mind: "Life is but a walking shadow, A poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more...". Life sometimes loses its meaning. But then we can make something of life and make it meaningful and strive to leave 'footprints on the sands of time'.
-Avthachen
Dear Avthachen,
Thanx a lot for your comforting words and your deep insight into death and bereavement. We are beset with a sense of loss of direction, and more so a feeling of what is this life...... as you said we come with nothing and go with nothing!... yet life goes on and within no time will we be picking up the strings of life and be engaged all the more in the struggle of keeping up with the Joneses!!!
thanx
Susan Jacob
Amma, you have potrayed appachen very well. I had lot of emotions filled within me when i saw him lying there. You have brought out most of it.
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